oh, Mana - i'm so sorry to hear your bean is starting to deal with such big issues. aquinas is so right, though, there are a lot of great posts on existential pain here and lots of good advice.

we've been through a bit of that stuff with DD in the past, but she's worked through it to a point where her perspective seems ok (for now.) if it helps at all, the one thing in your post that really stood out for me was the moment where she just held you quietly - it is indeed a bittersweet experience, but it seemed like a really wonderful demonstration of your mutual closeness.

so my thing is super-dumb but it's making me smile. DD5 now uses "whom" as the object pronoun.

Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.