Originally Posted by shellymos
It's strange because at our first meeting before school she was great. She talked about meeting his individual needs and that children that are that high IQ have special needs and need special services. She even said that she was a gifted and talented advisor or something. She met with him and took him into a couple classes and felt that he should skip K and go to first. So...she kind of got it. I do think she is going to try things but she was quite defensive and no one was coming at her. It may because of the psychologist that I brought with me, but she was not confrontational at all. I don't know. I just hope they don't forget about DS5 and get caught up in policies. The few good things that were said included looking into mentors from the high school, looking into their use of the reading and math specialist and using the computer lab for him. She wrote down lots of suggestions and took brochures for materials. But I guess because of all the other comments and things it makes me anxious.

((shellymos))
I hate those mixed messages and double talk - skives me right out. The trick is to partition the whole past relationship with any school folk who are giving you a hard time and focus-focus-focus on the needs of the child and possible solutions. It's an odd trick, but I know you'll get the hang of it. You may not get the accomidations you are looking for, but at least your entire mind won't go crazy. Just that little walled off part that you can vent about here for the next 20 years. Hopefully somethings will have changed by then.

anyway - I am going to reccomend that you write an email that outlines what was said at the difficult meeting, show it to us, and then send it to the meeting participants. Something like: 'Thanks so much for meeting with me. You clearly care very deeply for my son's social and emotional health, which makes me so happy. Many things were discussed and I wanted to be sure that I fully understood the various problems that you are seeing and the possible solutions, etc.'

Then you list all the key problems and possible solutions. This puts them on notice that you were at the meeting, that you were paying attention, that you are a team player, and that you expect SOMETHING good to happen.

If this sounds degrading, it is, and I appologise, but I'm guessing that you would do a whole lot more degrading things, if you had to, for your child's benifit. I know I would. I find that reminding myself of those other things that I would do if I had to helps me be strong. Either they hold all the cards, or they don't- if they don't then play your cards, if they do then do your best.

BTW - what did your advocate think of the meeting? Can she help debrief you?

I think it's great that you can post here. Even though I was already in YSP after some of my bad meetings, I would be in so much pain after them that I was totally unable to talk or type about it for at least 3 weeks. Just Awful!

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com