Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Kindergarten 2009-2010

selective mutism is a severe social anxiety disorder causing a person who normally can speak in places of comfort (like at home), reflexively shut down their speech in places of discomfort (like at school or in front of strangers). This goes beyond ordinary shyness/slow to warm up behavior. While most traditionally shy children might spend up to a month in a school setting being very quiet, they eventually relax and start talking.

The selectively mute child simply can not. They want to, but they can't bring themselves to speak. It persists beyond the first month, and without proper assistance, it can persist into adulthood.

It is basically a function of an improperly resolved primitive reflex - the fight/flight or freeze response. Most babies Moro Reflex and a little known Fear Paralysis Reflex gets integrated into the background. For those with selective mutism, it does not. The child feels "all eyes" are on them, and there is a high sense of "if I do something they will laugh at me" feeling. My daughter wanted to speak at times, but told me that "the words were there but wouldn't come out".

Oftentimes, selectively mute children have higher than average intellect. I believe in part because they are so "switched on" to the world, nothing gets past, and because of asynchronous development - the cognitive abilities far surpass the emotional ones. There is usually a co-existing sensory processing issue as well - again, too switched on to the sensations coming in, increases anxiety.

In case anyone would want to read about her journey, it's here

Our Daughter's Selective Mutism Journey - the summary

I blogged about it in order to help others. I think it has helped some parents cope and understand things a little better.

Her social anxiety is pretty much gone after all we've done. Now she just has generalized anxiety - mostly about bad dreams and monsters.