It's ironic indeed that parents like us are forced to consider that NOT doing any of that stuff (well, you know-- all of the TigerParent stuff, like programming a child's cell phone to give alarms to indicate the times of the next activity, intervening all the time to 'flex' things enough to squeeze just one more thing into an already over-crammed schedule, rationalizing why "doing it for them" is necessary and justifiable, etc. etc.) ultimately can result in your authentically superior student looking...

well, in them looking just like all the rest. Because the rest of them are certainly willing to do whatever it takes to look like my DD or intparent's kids.

I have no idea what the answer is. I don't. I am merely offering that there is a great deal of tension and anxiety surrounding this entire issue as a parent.

It also makes me really angry to watch this prepping taking place. It's unfair on so many levels-- truly a perversion of the system. It's unfair to the institutions who have no real means of determining student quality/suitability and have given up even trying in a lot of senses, it's unfair to students who really CAN'T meet the demand that their resumes are setting up as expectations, and it's also unfair to the students who CAN readily meet such demands, because they have to try to scramble their way to the front of the crowd and raise their hands higher than anyone else...

yet again. In order to get what amounts to appropriate education. We don't want our DD to get "the best degree" that money can buy. We want her to finally get an experience that allows her to truly stretch her wings and FLY intellectually. That can't happen when her classmates are essentially flightless birds dressed up in eagle suits.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.