Originally Posted by hip
Sorry for quoting myself, but this is the answer in a nutshell -- IMO the turnaround that I describe below would not have happened for years, and his fears would have interfered in a profound way with both his happiness and his developing ability to use his potential (to crib two important child-raising goals from another poster):

How do you explain how so many perfectionist children make progress when they aren't pushed, forced and threatened? I've heard so many versions of that pool story where it was resolved without threats and force. The kid who watched every day of the summer and swam all the way across the pool the first time, the kid who would have nothing to do with it at give but was eager to be on the swim team at six, etc.

No pushing, threats or cajoling here AND also no need to stand over a 11 year old and have a scene about music practice. And, no need to cajole or push through any other sort of new experience because the child would never think it was the parents' job to do so. Any explanation for how that could happen if this force and pushing is required?