I am blown away by reading some of the posts on this thread. As the parent of two successful kids (d20 and d15), I can't fathom making a kid continue something they hate just to teach them perseverence. I understand making them continue for a period of time because you made an investment of some kind in equipment, and making sure they understand up front about that. I understand making them finish out a season because the lessons are paid for or it lets their team down if they don't. But I just cannot understand forcing a kid to do something they clearly hate (and that makes them cry) for year after year.
I think one reason for this disagreement comes from thinking that kids complaining about a piano practice are necessarily doing something they hate. My kids do lots of things that made them cry at least once including swimming, music, sports, math, and school. I'm certainly not going to let them quit everything that ever made them cry. Most recently, I had kids sobbing in frustration about not being able to ski perfectly during morning ski school and laughing giddily while flying down the mountain by the early afternoon. Should I have let them quit when they were crying in the morning? It is pretty natural for a kid to resist discipline and structure and it doesn't mean the kid hates the activity. It seems pretty normal to me to be frustrated by things that take a great deal of effort before there is much payoff.
As I mentioned, my DD just quit piano because I don't think she loved the activity. But I have a son who sometimes doesn't want to practice and I would be very reluctant to let him quit because I believe he demonstrates an overall love of music. He composed all summer in his free time. He enters competitions with performance and composition. He requested a music theory tutor. He reads music history and theory for fun. He performs. He seeks better instruction despite longer lessons and needing more practice. He's chosen multiple instruments which requires more practice. Does he love practice every single day? No. Has he ever cried while practicing? Yes. There are days he'd rather play video games all day without needing to do math, practice, or take out the garbage, but that doesn't mean he hates music or his instruments or that he's being tortured by being asked to keep up with the commitments he's made.
I actually discussed this thread with him. He believes that music has little payoff in the beginning and much greater rewards later, so he thought there needed to be a nudge towards working early on before the kid can see the benefits. There's nothing very pleasant about playing or listening to Mississippi Hotdog! Once a kid can join an orchestra, compose and perform his own stuff, play any popular song he likes, please himself with the sound he makes and the technical ability he's developing, the rewards seems pretty obvious to me. Is it worth forcing a kid who hates it to do it for years? I don't think so -- but it's worth it for us to provide some structure to practice and encouragement that means allowing a kid to cry occasionally while getting to the level the kid can appreciate.
