intparent, I think we agree that a child who truly loathes something should be allowed to quit, perhaps our only disagreement is when that child may quit. I would ask the child to give the activity some time in order to see if he truly hates it or the effort.

However, I disagree that asking that of a child is being mean. A parent can be mean and cruel to a child in any number of ways that have absolutely nothing to do with forcing a child to stick with lessons and activities for some period. Even though I expect him to practice, I am not mean to my child (unless you ask him, of course, since I made him quit playing the Wii after 40 minutes today).

I also concede that I have personal issues in this area that likely influence my thoughts. I was allowed to quit every activity I ever participated in as a child. Ballet, tap, gymnastics, academic decathalon, tennis- you name it. Notice no music in that list? My mother was forced to take a particular instrument for many years despite the fact that she hated it, and she swung the opposite direction and let us quit at the slightest resistance.

I am trying to work on a balance in this issue, and I think that Jane is as well. If she weren't concerned, she would never have asked the question and faced her doubts/concerns. She would have just told her son to keep playing piano without hesitation.


And yes, I am generalizing. Most statements on this thread that do not pertain to the poster's own children are generalizations, though. I can only speak from my own experience, but I have noticed a lack of follow through with many. Is that due to not being forced to continue taking swimming lessons when they were 5? I highly doubt it. But it just might be caused by them being allowed to quit swimming at 5, ballet at 7, piano at 10, karate at 11, glee club at 16... I think you get the point.


Obviously this is a complicated issue, and one that many of us are concerned with. All we can do is try our best, have an open dialogue with our children and provide them with the support and unconditional love they need. But of course that's always easier said than done!