I don't see that the people suggesting that forcing a child to play an instrument they don't enjoy are saying that a child should be allow to give up anything that has made them cry once in a while (though they're welcome to correct me if I am wrong). Goodness knows my daughter would never do anything new if that was the case.

What I see them saying is that if it is causing unhappiness then there is a question about whether or not it is worth doing. My daughter is only very young, just 5. She will drop an activity as soon as it's a challenge and fall in a heap on the floor. I'll explain to her why it's a challenge for her, why she shouldn't expect to be able to do it easily and what is likely to enable her to do it better down the track. I let her know she's welcome to ask for help. Often she doesn't. She likes to practice and perfect things on her own. Once she is calm she will go back to the activity without fail. If I think there is some piece of advice that will help her (like doing something slowly), I explain why it is important to start slowly (training your brain and muscles to do it the right way etc) and how it can end up being quicker to start slowly in the long run. When I have insisted she continue a task or that she do it my way, dd has simply never been interest in whatever activity I was insistent about again.

Is it time consuming? Absolutely - but more so than dealing with consequence we see when she has been forced to do an activity. Do I sometimes think 'why wont you just get on with it???' Often. And frankly there are times when i don't have the patience for it and I don't deal with it as constructively as I might like to.

I also think that insisting kids eat healthy food etc is in no way related to this. There are some things that are essential to a good life. Being healthy is a big part of that. I would argue that having access to and participating in music is too. However, insisting that that must be achieved through a particular instrument and/style makes no sense to me (why are people so insistent about piano? Sure it's versatile and a great basis from which to read music and play any instrument. But If you're not trying to set your kid up as a professional musician - surely their choice anyway - why not let them pick something different? You rarely see someone complaining about being forced to play the saxophone or drums or guitar. The great thing about music is that it can present a challenge regardless of the instrument).

If it is persistence and resilience you're after there is a great book call the Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman (former president of the American Psychological Association). It has some great advice on encouraging and motivating kids. My own feeling is that developing persistence is something that we do in a whole host of ways. Insisting on playing the piano might be one way, but it seems to me to be a pretty negative way and I guess I feel there are likely to be healthier and more meaningful ways to do it.

"If children have interest, then education will follow" - Arthur C Clarke