I am blown away by reading some of the posts on this thread. As the parent of two successful kids (d20 and d15), I can't fathom making a kid continue something they hate just to teach them perseverence.
I agree. I can sort-of see a couple of the arguments used here (e.g. "We see piano as a curricular activity"), but I also know that forcing kids to do extracurriculars that they don't like makes them resentful, and more likely to avoid the activity. People could make a counter-point that that if they let their kids pick everything, they'd eat popcorn for dinner, but in this situation, this argument seems to be a bit of a straw man to me.
Is the piano an extra subject on top of a full school day or is it incorporated into it? If the lessons are just part of a school day, then they're obviously curricular. Either way, I can see that parents can see lessons as important and enriching. But when the child consistently complains about hating the lessons and/or cries often, I begin to wonder about the point of continuing.
(Using "he" as a universal pronoun below)
I'm not sure that the benefits of perseverence can become apparent when a child is learning something extracurricular because his parents are
making him learn. In this case, what's the goal? To be exposed to music? To become more cultured? To gain fine motor skills? To become a competent piano player (how do you define competent?)? How do you measure these things? Plus, most importantly, who sets the goal?
If the child wasn't interested in the goal to begin with, how (or why) would he see himself as persevering to get it? Why would anyone persevere to get something that has no meaning to them in any form, and gives no apparent benefit (such as a grade or paycheck)? Besides, perseverence is internal: people persevere because they want something. When mom and dad are
making the child play the piano, the child isn't persevering --- the parents are. Being forced is NOT persevering.
If the goal is to enrich the child, there must be a way to find something that both the parents and the child find acceptable.
Okay, just my two cents. I am not trying to attack anyone here or be mean. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective.
Val
