Wow - this thread really has grown. I have 2 very lazy gifted kids with monitored access to technology too. They are also homeschooled so they have lots of free time. I think there is a huge difference between a kid hating an activity at it's core and enjoying the pay offs, but struggling with the work. It is our jobs as parents to sort these things on based on our own kids. My son now at age 10 is just coming around to the idea of effort = pay offs. And I definitely see music lessons helping in this regard. I took 7 years of music lessons growing up, and I felt like it was the only thing I did that allowed me to excel at my own level and really drilled home some lessons for me about work ethic. Does that justify a parent "forcing" a child to do something that they hate every second of? No. There is quite a bit of gray area between an entirely self motivated child and a child that is completely forced and hates an activity. Some kids need ongoing encouragement and help to feel successful.

I also don't see greater value in music lessons than drama, fine art, etc. Because we homeschool, we try do some of all of that. My kids picked their own instruments - granted at age 4 and 5. But I think that ownership in the choice definitely helped. After the first 1-2 years and some sense of mastery, practice is infinitely easier and more fun than getting over that initial hump. My kids also wouldn't do or try anything if I buckled at the first sign of resistance. Music has become a joy for all of us. And if I thought my kids really hated lessons at their core, I would let them quit if they asked (they never have asked to quit - they have asked to skip practice plenty though!)

Anyway, I feel a bit sorry for the OP of this thread.