Originally Posted by hip
<But this little vignette certainly doesn't sound like evidence of a child who will turn out to have the "eye of the tiger".>

I'm not sure what the 'eye of the tiger' is - could you explain?

<It sounds like an unhappy kid who's trying to appease his mom while she is pushing him, and/or actually does need her as a crutch-- either is not good in my opinion.>

Or it could actually be a kid like the one I've been describing, a mostly self-directed 11 year old with a very strong internal locus of control who has learned over the six years since that day that he doesn't have to let fear of failure dominate his attitude to life, and as a result is setting and meeting his own ambitious goals.

It sounds to me that the child you've been describing is one who's pushed quite intensely, to the point of tears, and who may wind up lacking drive because of retaining bad memories of being forced to practice on a task you've chosen. I don't know what a "very strong internal locus of control is"-- is that a brain? Don't we all have one of those?

If your child won't tackle challenges by himself, I'm skeptical that your approach is going to transform him into a go-getter who pushes past his previous boundaries. Of course, you may wind up holding such sway over him even into adulthood that he strives to please you, or he may well acquire good study and practice habits that improve his academic standing at some university or other. I doubt that that's the sort of thing that will transform him into a world-beater in any field, but it may do well at helping him get a higher-paying job, of course.

Striving to increase my rate of flow, and fight forum gloopiness. sick