I think knowing when a kid hates an activity and knowing when a kid hates the boring part of an activity can be difficult to sort out. I didn't like practicing piano as a kid, but I do think it was useful to study for years and learn to work at something that didn't come easily when so many other things came so easily. DH was allowed to quit piano after a few years and he's always regretted it. There were times when I cried while practicing as a kid but those times were rough patches. I am grateful that I didn't give up the first time I ever had a bad day of practice.

JaneSmith -- I think you have to figure out whether your son hates piano or he hates practicing so much at 8 or whether he resists all efforts to do an activity with consistency and perseverance or whether he hates your involvement with his practice. If he hates piano, then you may be teaching him to fear trying things, to think of extracurriculars as a power struggle, and to resent your interest in his development. If he just hates practice during a rough patch but loves piano generally, then working through that can provide valuable lessons in learning to persevere through struggle. It may be difficult to sort out once there's an element of power struggle involved.

My approach to music practice has been that it is required as long as I'm paying for lessons, but I have no other involvement. How effective the time is used, how much is accomplished, or what is done during practice is between the kid and the teacher. We sometimes use some additional requirement -- that practice is done before x activity or before a certain time of day -- but otherwise the kid is in charge of practice. As my kids have developed and had better teachers, the requirements have increased from the teacher which allows me to have no input. The kids don't want to disappoint their teachers and thus work hard.

My DD9 played two different instruments for a few years. She asked to quit this fall. We talked about it and she'd waffle back and forth from wanting to do it or wanting to quit. We'd encourage her and she'd get interested again. After a few months, she definitely wanted to quit. She came to me, told me that she was learning to work hard and persevere in many other activities and that she wasn't going to develop any love for her instrument. She argued that she had enough to exposure to music to know she didn't want to invest years more doing it. I agreed with her and she quit.

For me, this is a complicated question. It can be very easy for kids to resent doing anything without the immediate payback of video games and I think part of my job as a parent is to show my kids that sometimes, work takes a long time to pay off. At the same time, forcing a kid to do a hated activity for years seems really silly to me. No matter how much talent a kid has, high levels of achievement require a great deal of work and most kids who detest an activity will never put in that work so there's not much hope for payoff in either achievement or enjoyment.