So what happens in Asia where Amy Chua types abound? The bar gets crazy high as parents push their kids even harder every year for that extra half mark so that their kids can come in first in the class/ standard among a sea of hot housed kids. Really, if the kid had any ounce of creativity, all that will be worked out of him at the end of his education. There are " model answers" to memorize for everything from grade 1 onwards. And why? Because if you tried to compose a story on your own, you will make mistakes or the story won't be as polished, so you won't get full marks. There are so many stories of kids writing the same essays for an assignment/exam because they go to the same tuition classes. No room for error is the mantra! This thinking is institutionalized. If schools gave exams according to the grade level, the likelihood is that in many schools, the entire class will score full marks. So the screws have been turning. Its an unofficial truth that grade levels here are at least 1-2 years ahead of western counterparts. What happens if the child can't cope despite draconian means? I shudder to think. On a national scale, where's the creativity?

It wasn't so bad a generation ago when I was growing up. But these days, there are so many horror stories ala Amy Chua that would make any sane person's hair curl. I had no idea when my PG son was younger that I shouldn't talk about what he just did. Little did I know I was making sworn enemies and causing more pain to other kids around us as some mothers stepped to the fore to compete. These days, I'm much wiser and we keep very mum about achievements.

To those of you who're committed to your child's success, and who isn't, it doesn't have to be crazy. It really is obvious where the lines are drawn beyond where a parent should never cross. I see a lot of parents who have confused their egos with their kids', so if their child doesnt do well, they feel personally insulted and they become ruthless at implementation because they feel they've been wronged (by their own child!). True, don't let your child give up. But it doesn't have to happen in the shortest time possible in a continuous, punishing way. Try another method. Short term failure and making mistakes are among the best ways to learn - we should all take advantage of that!