Originally Posted by kcab
Originally Posted by JaneSmith
Regardless of the time commitment, I don't think he finds piano innately unpleasant. Both he and his brother were working on Solfeggietto and I stopped it with him because he just would not slow down to learn it properly and he needed to work on other pieces. In restrospect, this was probably a mistake. But he still likes to play the first two lines. He enjoys listening to Pachelbel's Canon in D and I asked him if he would like to learn it and he responded positively. He only complains about the piano when he is asked to play - he doesn't bring it up at other times. I am not ready to consider this a lost cause...yet. I would first like to give it one more go and identify where we went wrong.
To me, this sounds like someone who does actually like playing the piano. In that case, why not back way, way off and trust him come back to it on his own? Or, at some time when neither of you are feeling stressed, get him talking about what he likes and dislikes about music and see if he has any ideas about things that he'd like to do. Maybe he would like to spend a little time composing instead of practicing? Perhaps let him take a sabbatical/vacation and work on his own direction in music?

The composing thing sounds kind of promising.

I think part of the problem is that he is at an awkward stage in terms of his musical ability. He plays by ear so well and it comes very easy to him. So he is easily frustrated with reading music. But if he won't read music, he can't learn on his own. So that's another reason I'm reluctant to just let it go. I feel like we just need to get over the hump. It's been a while now, though, and if I don't see an improvement (in attitude) soon he will have to give it up. But again, I'd like to try and see if there's anything I can do before taking this final step. My time limitations make it unlikely that we could get back into the swing of it if he quits now.

Maybe I should talk to his teacher about the possibility of letting him just work on super easy pieces for a while? So that he WILL backslide a little, but I should just accept that and not sweat it? And then maybe when he can read music more fluently he can go back to more challenging stuff? Maybe in September? I'm pretty sure the complaining would stop if he was working on easier pieces (although in general I don't think he is working above his ability).

As you can see, I am VERY reluctant to just walk away form this. If it's going to be a battle of wills, then I will have to. But I'd like to make SURE we are really at that stage and there are no other possibilities. Not that he has to love it. I have no problem with requiring things. But if he's going to be emotional about it, some thign has to change.