Thanks for posting that link. I'm a self handicapper, and never recognized that so cleanly before or had a good term for it.

CBT has been invaluable to me for depression, and the skills have lasted and been broadly applicable. Not that I'm not still also skilled at faulty thinking in some settings and under some stresses! I'm going to go back and look at other reading suggestions in this thread. A CBT book that was useful to me years ago was "Feeling good: the new mood therapy" by David Burns.
Best wishes for finding solutions for your family-