Okay, quick response to get some thought processes started.
First and foremost, it sounds to me like there are a lot of issues that may be getting lumped into a single problem. My first advice is to ask if you can break the big problem down into a group of smaller constituent problems. Then address one at a time. You may wish to start with the smaller ones if possible. That way a larger number of niggly little things can disappear. This can reduce mental clutter and ameliorate larger problems.
Some ideas, mostly hewing to the idea that actions speak louder than words (including shouts):
* How many extracurriculars are there? Can you jettison one or more? If she agrees, you'll reduce stress and scheduled time. If she objects, explain that it's too bad, because of x, y, and/or z. If she wants them back, she'll have to do x, y, and/or z.
* Can you let her sleep until she wakes up? As children become adolescents they need more sleep and tend to sleep later.
* Pick one academic thing and schedule it, say, four days a week for 45 minutes. Be firm about enforcing this small schedule. Pick something she likes.
I'm kind of confused about the virtual school thing. What does this mean? Do you homeschool and follow a curriculum? If you're at home all day, it seems reasonable to let her sleep until she wakes up, even if this means letting her sleep until 11 am. I did this as a kid and into my 20s (and still do on many Sundays). It doesn't stop me from being productive.
Okay, must go. HTH.
Val
