PTP, thank you for being honest.
This is a message that I have a hard time hearing. I'm very sensitive to assertions of "oversheltering" or "helicopter" parenting, because that
is what our vigilance can look like; coupled with the natural assumptions that a lot of people make re: hothousing of GT kids, and it's probably obvious why I often
hear "enmeshment" when someone says "stretch their wings". (Enmeshment = categorically untrue.)
I understand what you are saying, though, and I think you are correct. She's lonely and miserable, and some of it
isthe school situation and how badly it fits.
We need to figure out HOW to transition without risking her life unduly in the process, that's all.
I spoke with the school counselor, and we hammered out at least where we think the big
problems are, which is some progress. The perfectionism coupled with the assessments that are
feeding that perfectionism.... eh. I may have my own work-around for that one, but the school does not.
I can: a) give her a GROUP of assessments rather than just three or four questions on a single one, or b) I can rewrite the questions as short-answer format and have her do THOSE, then she can 'choose' her answers on the assessments based on her well-considered written responses... thereby short-circuiting the low-level assessments.
I can't fix the curricular materials themselves, unfortunately... which means that my daughter has already read the rest of the literature selections
this year for her English class.
We have tentatively planned to have independent study on the table next year in leiu of another bonehead elective. It may need to be more than one. The counselor was also open to the idea of having her take a college level course for dual credit. (This also isn't really new-- it was something we planned to do anyway starting in sophomore year.)
We also think that a tutor/mentor in math, in particular, would be a terrific thing. We will have to choose carefully, and hope that the person understands that we really aren't kidding about DD's disability.
DD knows that she needs to develop study skills. We have a tentative plan for that.
We will also need to hothouse EF for the next few months/years if she's to enter college coursework
earlier than we were hoping.
Her social
skills may be excellent, but the highly limited opportunities to use them and to build a social network are making her feel very isolated and alien.
We are examining whether or not we could afford to transition to homeschooling with some higher quality distance components (local colleges offer some on-line coursework and some hybrid courses, and of course there are EPGY offerings).
We are also going to closely examine the
medical side of things. (Saying that with my heart in my throat-- none of the possibilities are 'good' there; I'd almost RATHER that it were a mental health issue.)
DD is
very resistant to seeing a therapist; she positively BRISTLED at the very idea and informed me that she didn't want some head-shrinker telling her "that I'm messed up or defective." <sigh> We clearly have our work cut out for us.
