Not harsh or ugly at all--
honest. I agree that 'school' cannot be allowed to escalate the problem, and that we need to pull back to a position of, well-- almost guaranteed success, if you will-- so that she can feel empowered to control herself and her environment the way she wants to. (After all, ED's are fundamentally about control.) Some things that we've done (as a family) to help us on that front:
a) DD making meals both for herself and for family
b) I 'tossed' her room (gracious, that child is half packrat, I swear, tucking little caches of mixed junk under and into anywhere it'll fit)-- while this sounds cruel, she actually NEEDS the experience of sorting through all of the miscellany and putting things where they belong. DECIDING where they belong, even. She needs the personal sense of accomplishment, and she's been working on that the past couple of days as time permits.
c) she takes care of her dog and her rabbit, so she has "chores" where another creature is dependent upon her.
All of that is an opportunity for authentic praise for real effort/contribution, and we're definitely giving it.
DD may or may not have an ED. We don't know, but we also are not playing around with that particular booklet of matches, either. Hopefully the psych consult can tell us more there. In any case, the perfectionism needs to be dealt with pronto. I think that this may have been a semi-deliberate cry for help on her part, actually, since she's now clearly begun eating again in the past few days, and I didn't get the sense that it was to
prevent us from seeking outside help. More out of response to our obvious level of concern.
I, too, am not sure that there
is a means of dealing with this without considering her giftedness, since that is part and parcel of it. Part and parcel of who she is, actually. We shall see what we see with the therapist she's been referred to.
Luckily the school is cooperating and is actually fairly helpful. Moreso than Doctor Life-sucks-and-then-you-die, at any rate.
The insomnia and sleep disturbances are probably a genetic thing. (Let's just say it's about 3A.M. here...)
But the lying and furtive 'sneaking' sure aren't... and honestly, why on earth am I finding my child ROAMING my house two hours after her bedtime, fully awake and lying to me about the reasons for her meandering? Sheesh. Kids.
