Play with her with her diet since she's not eating anyway. Try healthy trendy diets- vegetarian, raw food itarian, juicer/smoothies. At least she'll be thinking about nutrition then. Smoothie-juicer. Live like a fairy on fruits, nuts, and berries. Put 1/2 glass of ice water, 2 yogurts,1 banana, and frozen fruit for color/flavor in a blender, top off with milk. I think it has vitamins and protein. I got the eating/ not eating cycle, but mine's 3 yrs old. He won't eat then he's a bottomless pit. I make a plate for him every meal and give it to the dogs if he don't eat it. I've got a terrible quote, "if you don't eat you don't poop. If you don't poop you die. So eat poop and live.". Ha-ha, real mature.
I very much disagree with this. Sorry Texican!
Sounds like if there is no eating disorder presently, she's setting herself up for one down the line. I agree with the part about educating her about nutrition, but I would discourage any faddish diet. Since she's still young enough for you to exert control I would put a stop to the sneaking candy thing pronto.
I understand your desire to maintain privacy, but it sounds like the medical issues are integral to your daughter's situation so I think the quality of the advice you receive is going to be compromised because of this missing piece of info. Not suggesting your disclose anything, just pointing out the obvious.
It sounds like you are facing bigger issues than just academics. To me, the fact that she is making other family members miserable is a huge red flag. Have you done all the obvious things? Same bedtime every day, same mealtimes every day (eaten sitting at a table), moderate exercise every day, healthy meals, no sugar, no caffeine?
If she's 11 and already doing HS work, is it possible to let her quit school for a while and learn something non-academic (and possibly physical)? Can she get a paper route, mow lawns, be a mother's helper? What about just sending her to a regular school and letting her sink or swim? She might not learn much academically, but perhaps she would become motivated to be responsible for her own work (even if it's not at an appropriate level academically).
One of my sons is at a school where he is not learning anything at all, but my heart just bursts with pride when I see how responsible he is with his homework.
