It puts us between a rock and a hard place, though, because if we lie/evade questions about her academics, that sends her the message that she should be ashamed. The attention embarrasses her and makes her feel like a sideshow freak
At her age I think it should be her choice how she wants to handle it. If she wants you to change the subject or not to share information about her academics I'd agree to that. Certainly if you are together and someone asks questions about her, I would bow out of the conversation. I find it very odd when adults direct questions about a child her age to an adult instead of directly to the child who is standing there.
I would not present it as a matter of shame, but rather as a matter of choice. Preferring to be private about aspects of your life or preferring to be modest are perfectly acceptable choices to make. Preferring to talk about it and then hear "wow" is also a perfectly acceptable choice. Maybe it would be helpful to practice ways to role play situations to sidestep a question or change the subject. That helped our radically accelerated child get more comfortable with figuring out how he wanted to handle that information. It also helped him to hear that it is entirely his choice what he shares with others.
