The school sets very few "deadlines" on the kids... until ...the end of the semester, IT MATTERS; anything left incomplete becomes a zero at that point.
Here are the problems:
- refusal to do work
- failure to focus on work for any length of time unless under DIRECT supervision
- you can't get two days of work out of her in a row-- I'm lucky to get three a week.
- strenuously resists any and all attempts by us to schedule her school day... and even when SHE helps to devise a schedule, she seems to take some perverse pleasure in wrecking it after a day or so-- it's really odd
- lack of study skills
- general lassitude that spills over into every area of our family's life-- "school" becomes endless, consuming every evening, every weekend, and making home a living Hades for us all.
Okay. I'm seeing things that make me think, "Don't tolerate this."
For example, school shouldn't spill over into everyone's life and make you all miserable. Your daughter also needs to learn to do stuff without someone in the room supervising her; this is an essential life skill.
My suggestion: I've been through homework resistance with my eldest. I think it's normal to a degree, but it was going overboard. So I got very tough (DH too), and was very consistent about it. He had to do it, no complaints, and no way was he going to be doing homework at 9 p.m. If it wasn't done by 8:30, it was too bad.
My opinion is that it's a bad idea to let a school situation dominate your lives. If for no other reason, this is because it can let your daughter believe that she is the center of attention, and rightly so. Well, Mom and Dad and others also have a right to do stuff they want to do.
New and worrying:
1)lies-lies-lies....
3) her ad hoc and unorthodox methods of 'study' are not effective and the fall-off grade-wise is VERY stark...she has no idea what to do, but she's angry as all heck at US for suggesting she do anything different.
4) flakiness/lack of motivation has now spilled over into some extracurriculars
I'm getting NOWHERE with any of that.
Kindness and understanding don't work...
How on earth do we help her?? The stress is just about intolerable for all three of us.I'm thinking it you might want to consider letting her fail. Resistance to homework is normal and too much homework doesn't really teach much IMHO. But beyond that, everyone, EVERYONE, has to learn how to do stuff they don't want to do. This includes working when you'd rather be playing.
As per my earlier post, actions speak louder than words, and it may be time for firm and
consistent actions.
HTH; bedtime for kids!
Above all else, these are just my ideas and YMMV.
