OTGmom, thank you. We do love her dearly, and she is NOT a bad/rotten kid by any stretch. She's actually a
wonderful person, and it is just agonizing for us to see her hurting so much. We are very demonstrative with her; she definitely hears how much we love her. Often.
She slept in until almost noon today and then even ate real food at several points during the day, including sitting and eating dinner with us. So that was encouraging.
PTP, I definitely understood that you weren't saying that.
I'm just highly sensitized, as noted. It's hard to maintain a 'healthy' distance in a child who faces a life-threatening chronic problem, YK? It changes all the time, and there are some things you
cannot let your child learn "the hard way." All the things that people are willing to say about GT children being their parents' creations (and you know we've all met THEM)...
what's a little Munchausen among strangers, eh? 
(I'm kidding, of course... but I've definitely had people think and even broadly HINT those obnoxious and ignorant things about my family.)
I deeply appreciate the perspective you offered and agree wholeheartedly that building a social life outside of home is much needed right now. She's terribly lonely. DH is going to try to help her find a local RPG to play D&D with or something.
Hopefully DD will find a therapist that she really clicks with. It's very clear that she needs someone who can help her with some of the issues she's struggling with.
We are strongly in favor of a tutor/mentor for math in particular. DH thinks I should contact the Ed department of the local uni. I was thinking that the MATH department might actually be the better shot for someone that would "sync" well with a PG preteen. Wonder what others think about that.
Again, I just want to THANK everyone who has been so kind in offering thoughts and suggestions. It is deeply appreciated, and my DH and I are thankful to have fresh eyes looking at this situation.
