I would have had a hard time with that. Very presumptuous of him to pass judgement on your daughter's academic placement when he's only just hearing about it.
I'm surprised he would spent so much time going off on what seems kind of tangential when your daughter has lost almost 10% of her body weight in 3 months.
So to what degree do you address your daughter's depression and possible ED independently of her giftedness, if at all? Seems like you are going to have to deal with doctors and mental health professionals on this, yet the issues are not so separate from her intellectual abilities as a strictly physical illness would be.
I watched a relative go through this and while I know my judging makes me seem very ugly, years later I still feel like the severity of her problems could have been mitigated if she'd been provided with more external structure, been kept on a consistent schedule, kept off caffeine and sugar, gotten some exercise, and been given more instrution on and opportunity to engage in basic life skills tasks. I think when school is rough going it's good to have an alternatives that can also provide a sense of acomplishment. not necessarily acomplishments that earn accolades, but an internal sense of scomplishment that comes from maintaining yourself and your immediate envirnoment - making your bed, having a garden, cooking a meal, caring for an animal etc.
