What I've learned with both of my sons is to attempt to guide more and more rather than direct starting at about age 14, giving more and more choices but adding that they will either reap the reward or suffer the ramifications of their decisions. That seems to sink in deeper and deeper the more decisions they make. Now with one DS being 15 and the other 19, I find they come to us as parents SEEKING guidance and consultation rather than us directing and mandating.

As my eldest son put it after his first semester in college, "The best part about college is the independence....the worst part about college is the independence."

On the other hand, there is still plenty of boy left even in the 19 year old as evidenced by the Mother's Day card he game his mom in which he wrote,

"Roses are red....my name is not Dave....this poem makes no sense.....microwave."

"Remember, there is no job in the world as important as making me food."

He's got an interesting sense of humor