You know, I had a similar profile-- only because I didn't really know any different and neither did my (somewhat naive) parents. Right down to the absentee parenting, come to that. My mom was completely AWOL for most of my high school career in one way or another, and often literally... I couldn't stand the snobby kids, so I sure wasn't a "joiner" other than being an enthusiastic band member. I could really rock a standardized test, though.

Heavens, how the colleges stalked me...

CalTech and RPI were both really aggressive in chasing me, even. I was flabbergasted. Seriously had no idea what to make of all of this sudden courting by high-flying schools that I'd only heard of in hushed whispers... it was just bizarre. None of my friends had people from {insert elite college} calling. I checked. LOL.



But things are way, way different than they were thirty years ago.

One can definitely decide to opt-out, as we've done; but we understand that the reality is that we ARE choosing for our daughter to probably not be competitive at an Ivy in doing that. On the other hand, we figure we aren't raising an Ivy student-- hopefully we're raising a well-adjusted adult who can follow her own dreams. It seems that more and more, that path doesn't lead through the Ivies for all but a few kids who are naturally that manic (?) and fortunate enough to have opportunity to spend 20 hours a day racking up activities that will play well to admissions committees.

More power to them if that is healthy for them, I suppose. But I have to think that Dad is right. Kids-- even really high ability kids-- need time to just BE. Time that isn't about how it benefits a vita.

Even if Harvard or Columbia were "the right" school for my DD, I'm not really a believer in the destiny model of college. I think that she could succeed and be wildly happy with her education at any of a number of less prestigious places-- and find a way for that experience to take her where she will love to go. Luckily, she sees things this way, too. Some of her friends are going off to Ivies, but not all of them. Some of them (all of them top 1% of graduating class, mostly) are going to the local regional colleges nearby. And that's fine. smile




Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.