Thank you for being sensitive to the feelings of other children and teaching your child to consider those feelings. I am obviously particularly sensitive about this topic, and I know it is complicated, and I do appreciate your intentions. Yesterday my 8 yo ds was very sad because he said someone at school called him stupid and dd4 asked what stupid meant. I had to think for a long time before opening my mouth, because the fact is my son is not ND, and it takes him way longer to learn all of the things that even those at the median take for granted. But if the rest of the world tried as hard as he does, and didn't give up, and kept the loving and positive attitude he does in the face of some extremely frustrating circumstances, it would certainly be a better place. And, again, yes, I very clearly remember being frustrated with the slow pace of learning in my schooling.
What you said here is very true:
"NO one is acting like it isn't OK--there a million posts doing just that, it is the purpose of this forum.
Every parent here is one extra chromosome (although I suppose that brings up a 'whole nother issue better not getting into here), one head injury, one car accident away from finding out what it is like to have a kid on the other end of the curve. And there are already other parents here who live it daily. Just because I happen to have a kid with special needs doesn't mean I don't need a place to discuss his two gifted sisters."Being gifted or "ND" or learning disabled or whatever isn't under our control. It is pretty much just an "accident" of birth and it can be taken away in an instant. So acting very superior about giftedness really just shows arrogance and also ignorance (but I consider behavior like that to be like a mom who brags and acts like her child is too good for the others because he's gifted or whatever... if such a woman exists.)
There is also a spectrum, though. I don't think I felt very guilty thinking someone was slower or even "dumb" if they were a ND kid who treated me like crap all the time. (And I have to admit that as an adult I've had less than charitable thoughts about certain co-workers and managers...)
But I wouldn't be thinking mean thoughts about someone in special ed or someone struggling who never did a thing to me. And I've never had someone like that gang up on me in school.
None of this really has anything to do with whether babies look sleepy or glazed or not, though.
But I have heard other parents actively encourage their children to negatively judge other kids or not treat them nicely! I remember going over a friends home and the parents were basically mocking me and trying to get me to dance to some rock music since I took dance classes and their own daughter didn't. They were being jealous and mean-spirited. I was like 6 years old.
My sister and I told the parents of some girls who were throwing rocks at us or spitting on us or something at a park about what their kids were doing and they just laughed. I remember those girls being a part of the hateful popular crowd as they grew older.
On one hand, I did hear my mom judge others and she wouldn't always let me play with kids if she thought they were from bad homes...but on the other hand she ALWAYS yelled at us if we put down another kid for being poor or for any other reason because she grew up as that kid.
