Originally Posted by AlexsMom
Originally Posted by annette
Originally Posted by AlexsMom
And IMHO saying "my kid is remarkably beautiful" is not at all the same as saying "your kid is ugly," or even "ugly by comparison to mine."

If you are a mother of an "ugly" baby, you aren't going to want to hear any of those statements and you certainly won't thank the other mother for saying the first one instead of the second or third one. The first statement implies the other--it's just a more polite way of being insensitive or even cruel if that's your thing.

I disagree. The first is an (accurate or otherwise) judgement of Kid A, and the second is an (accurate or otherwise) judgement of Kid B. If I say that Kid A is remarkably beautiful, that tells you nothing about Kid B (and something about the speaker). If I tell you Kid B is ugly, that tells me something about Kid B (and something about the speaker).

Every parent is kind of expected to think their own kid is beautiful. That doesn't really mean that every parent is expected to think that everyone else's kid is ugly.

AlexsMom, I quite agree with you and I'm glad you posted.

The Mother in question may still find the first statement offensive.
She may be sensitive to her child's looks and find the speaker cruel.

This illustrates my point perfectly.
When statements are easy to misinterpret ("other babies looked glazed"), it is our own insecurities and projections that determine our interpretation of them.