I have just re read my own post and I feel bad about the tone of it, it came out sounding nasty. But in fact I do have that exact conversation very regularly with my DH. People keep telling me to "stand around and chat with the other parents" to make friends for myself or my kids. To "spend some time in the classroom" to see where my kids are at or how best to support them. And I see other parents can actually to this because their toddlers just sit there, while mine is running with scissors or writhing in my arms like a screaming octopus. Sure I know they'll likely be great adults. By more of the good stuff has also come with more of the "absolute nightmare to parent from 6 months to 3+ years old". I would LOVE to make some friends, have more playdates for my older kids, spend time in the classroom etc. but one's toddler needs to be a bit more managable than mine is for that to work. It would be such a relief to have her sit nicely on my arm like a handbag just once. I am mentally and physically exauhsted.... Yeah I notice other people's kids are different, and short term I wish mine were too and that lead to me sounding far nastier in my first post than I intended. I don't love how different and difficult my toddler is in public. Yes she's "more", it's not always a good thing, though when she's not screaming like a banshee other people appear to find her fascinating.
Oh and for whoever asked, I HAVE had an older sibling ask loudly in the supermarket why our toddler was so much bigger, taller and smarter than all the other kids her age. That was yet another "will the ground just swallow me up now please" moment, I did not have a good answer ready and "she's not" would be patently untrue...she is all of those things.
I definitely had no issue with your original reply. Please don't take this as me attacking your most recent reply or anything... because I
totally feel you on how difficult an intense toddler can be... but do you see what you did there?
It's the same thing I saw on a slew of gifted parenting mommy blogs when they replied to the BabyCenter lady.
Every post basically said, "Don't resent that my kid is gifted... It is hard having gifted kids and here are all the extra things we deal with... so stop feeling jealous and hateful toward us."
To me, it feels like the model gorgeous girl who dumbs herself down or plays up other issues she has so that the other girls can make themselves feel better, hate her less, and maybe even include her. (Yeah, she is beautiful - but she's dumb, so she's not all that.)
Giftedness has some extra issues that come along with it, but I really don't think they negate the academic advantage that does exist and why moms like BabyCenter mom feel compelled to write posts like that.
I think you are fully allowed to say you've noticed other kids hanging out with their moms the way handbags do. Because it is true and very different from your every day experience. You shouldn't need to elaborate about how tough it is... because *we* (here... in this gifted forum) already should understand.
If someone stumbles in from google and doesn't get it or gets offended... then they are having a different experience in life and that is just fine.
(I've been enjoying a glass of Sangria, so I hope this comes out right.)
