I started keeping up with things that were getting a bit behind and my parenting has improved because of it. Thank you!
Good Morning GeoMamma and Dear Ones -
Can you say more about the connection for you between clutter and parenting? I'd love to hear it.
What was I hoping to get out of doing the Babysteps? I didn't go the babysteps with any particular intention - I just noticed that I recommend Flylady very often, and wasn't really sure how easy it was for people to get started. I started doing 'habit of the month' so it was much slower than this.
I felt like a better parent while FLYing bacause I was less angry, resentful, defensive, and shut down when the various surfaces of the house were saying 'Go Me' instead of 'You Stink.' My relationship with my Clutter was interfering with my relationship with my dear DS!
Good side effects have been the secure feeling DS has knowing he has a Mamma who can find an extra pencil, highlighter, notecard, notebook or posterboard at a moment's notice. I grew up feeling very 'out of control' in relation to things, and I felt that I was the cause of the out of controlness. Now I realize that my Mom was fighting hard to keep up as best she could, and that I was just being a normal kid. When my DS looses something, the fact that the baseline of the house is neat makes his job of looking for the thing a lot easier. I know because I see the difference when I let things pile up a bit.
Now DS14 is at boarding school. I've seen that although he was never into Flylady missions, he sometimes lectures me on the right way to do things, and the words are very familiar. I don't know if he has internalized enough of my efforts to stay organized right from the start, or if he will have to learn the hard way, but I have to believe that his learning will be faster because he knows what neat 'feels like' and he know some 'hows.'
Doing 31 days of babysteps feels like a big challenge - and with my son newly out of the house, I wanted to distract myself. Also, I'm an 'extravert' so it's easier to clean up and be organized when DS is physically in the house. Left to my own devices, with no one around to be 'good' for isn't something that comes naturally to me. I can report that the house looks great, cleans itself, and bounces back quickly from upsets in the routine. My plan is to supplant the idea of an 'empty nest' with the image of the kind of nurturing space for myself that I wished for as a child. Some of the goals that I've had for myself that I couldn't quite find time for without the babysteps are: flossing daily, 5 minutes of yoga (sun salutation) every morning, 5 minutes of meditation every night before bed. I can report that the babysteps are keeping me on track so I could add those daily things.
Today's babystep is to choose a bedtime - Ekk!
What should I do? Choose a ridiculously late bedtime like Midnight so that I can say I've done the step? Change is into a 'computer curfew?' I could give myself a computer curfew of 11pm on weeknights. I'll have to think this one over.
Can anyone help me with some of their own 'bedtimes' stories?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
