Thank you to those who offered comments about my DD's Kindergarten situation. I'm happy to report that things have been getting better, and she seems to be adjusting day by day. The first day was definitely the worst, and she had another bad day last week when they had a fire drill, but overall she's reporting that she likes a lot of the activities there and she's coming home tired but happy. She hasn't been having meltdowns or anger issues at home lately.
Regarding OT for Sensory Issues -- Sensory Processing/Integration Disorder is not an official diagnosis in the DSM-IV (official manual of mental disorders). Therefore, our physician doesn't believe in it, and the our insurance doesn't cover it. We were told just to be patient and understanding with her sensitivities -- that they're very common in young children, particularly gifted ones, and it's something she will mostly outgrow. Indeed, these sensory issues pose few real problems at home; they're more of a concern at school where there are more bodies, more chaos, fire drills, etc. I'm not sure to what extent it is interfering with her ability to participate and be successful at school, so I'm having the teacher document her behavior, including sensory issues. If there's a clear pattern, I'll try to persue it further.
Regarding Asperger's/Developmental disorders, these were ruled out because of the way she interacts with adults in a reciprocal manner. It was noted that she has advanced communication skills, which include being able to empathize, negotiate, and understand others' points of view and their body language. Additionally, she uses very expressive and appropriate intonation and gestures while communicating. Cognitively, she has a wide range of interests, and she's is interested in concepts and relationships between ideas, as opposed to memorization of facts. I'm certainly not opposed to her or any child getting a diagnosis if it allows them to get the help and services that they need, but it's pretty clear to me that her behavior does not match the criteria in the DSM-IV. Furthermore, she seems to do really well with the self-directed aspects of Montessori; it's the other times, like group activities and waiting in line that can be problematic for her.
Today, she had her appointment with the psychiatrist, who said that DD's statements such as "I want to get killed" are just attention-seeking and probably not indicative of depression. She said that my DD is a very strong-willed only child who's used to being the focus of attention and getting immediate response from her parents. The psych failed to establish any kind of rapport with DD, (which doesn't say too much for her, since DD loves adults), so DD didn't open up or share anything about her feelings. I appreciated hearing the psych's opinion, but she didn't offer us any new strategies, or anything helpful. (I'm getting more out of the books I've been reading) She said she wanted to see DD again in a month, but since she didn't connect at all with DD, I don't think it's worth our time to go again.
However what does seem to be helping DD is her school experience. I couldn't be more impressed with her teacher. She is so understanding, and patient, and she has so many skills and strategies, but it open to trying new suggestions. She reports DD's behavior is getting better, and that she often joins the circle time of her own choosing and participates. The teacher also has seen right away DD is way more advanced academically than the other children. The whole school is really very supportive, and they haven't made us feel like we're at fault for sending such a spoiled, demanding, only child to school, nor have they accused us of hothousing her. It's a very cooperative relationship, and I couldn't be more pleased.
However I know that there will still be challenges, and I know that she'll never be the "goody-two shoes" that I was as a MG, non-intense child. We're documenting everything now at both home and school, and they'll do more evaluations if necessary. At this point, I don't think we're going to have any luck with diagnoses but I'm remaining open to it. The teacher is very optimistic that DD will adapt and be successful in the classroom.
Thank you for the encouragement and insight. I really like what DeeDee wrote: "it's the hand she's dealt, and it's your job to help her master the challenges that come with that hand. She needs you to stay calm and positive and look for solutions that help her manage herself better." Keeping that in my mind and heart!
