It turns out that he has DYS-qualifying scores despite extreme testing anxiety that led him to not answer many questions (I hope never to have to put him through those tests again).
Hey - that's great news! I'm sorry it was hard on him and hope that by the time he's ready to take SATs or ACTs for College that he actually enjoys the experience.
I hope so. Our psychologist said that for a lot of the questions he was crouching behind the table, with just his eyes and the top of his head showing. I can just picture it.
He is pretty highly perfectionistic, and I had hoped that we were past the worst of it, but I think the testing brought out the worst of it again. I have seen a very recent resurgence of the perfectionism in other areas too... for instance, throwing an absolute fit upon getting one spelling word wrong, on an attempt to remember it from reading without seeing it first. I think he was a trooper to get through the testing, knowing him the way I do.
Must be nice to see the confirmation of your son's academic needs finally!
Yeah!
I never doubted MUCH, but there was always the occasional fear of being one of the pushy parents. That's how the school played it before, and they had my wife half-convinced (she's got her "mind right" again now).
Keep documenting what is going on at the school, and all the conversations with the teacher. I think it's time for an email, cced to the Principle where you review what was discussed, and what the options are, and which option is going to be put in place.
Thank you for this advice. The TAT team includes a vice principal, and one of our worries is that we will seem to be giving a vote of no confidence in the entire team, but I agree with you that we may need to go over the VP's head. I don't want to wait until after the TAT meeting to get the ball rolling.
Right now, we've already sent an authorization and request to the school psychologist to discuss the results with our psychologist, and I will most likely follow up after that as you suggest. I want to get a read first on the psychologist's position, and the extent to which the K teacher's statements are a foreshadowing of what might have happened at the TAT meeting if we didn't act, i.e. the extent to which the K teacher is a mouthpiece for the TAT team at this point. (I may make the situation out to be a bit Machiavellian, but I can't help being a little paranoid, though I continue to like this K teacher and think she is honestly motivated by her desire that our son be well-served. She's acting according to her lights, they're just different ones.)
BTW - has subject acceleration already been ruled out?
I brought it up at the first TAT meeting, and again in our most recent meeting with the K teacher, but she didn't say anything one way or the other, but that she would have to think about the best way to handle his math needs next year. I think she agrees that he deserves some level of teaching, just like any kid does at the school.
It seems like a visit to an older room for Math and Science would add sparkle to your son's day while allowing him to be 'a kid' for a bit longer. Personally I think the behavior isn't enough reason not to place him in 1st now and go to 2nd next Fall.
Our psychologist recommended asking whether he could attend 1st for the second half of the day (he's in half-day K), as a way of gauging whether he's a good candidate for a skip and to allay any fears / stuff any arguments that he's not mature enough. I think your suggestion and hers both sound like great options, and I will bring both of them up.
About the behavior, as well as his age and size (he's on the young and small side for his kindergarten class), I agree with you. Would they hold back an age-appropriate first grader who once had a zipper meltdown and acted like a T. Rex on occasion from going to second? I am pretty good at separating the argumentary wheat from the chaff, and will come up with some good ways to point out the logical disconnect. Probably starting with the email to the principal, and certainly at the TAT meeting.
What would you rather have: time for him to 'do his own thing' after school and 'be a kid' during his free time, or a change to 'be a kid' during kindy but lack of free time because the academic needs have to be filled?
That's the thing. One of our options is obviously home schooling, except that we're not able financially to keep one parent home full-time right now (actually, we could swing it, but it would take giving up a lot). The idea was brought up of having him go to daycare and we teach him in an hour or so a night, but obviously that's not preferable to leaving him in the daycare/school and teaching him at night, except that he would have to do the dull school homework most likely, taking away even more free time at night. We could homeschool and send things to daycare to do during the day, but I am not comfortable with short-changing him that way. He deserves to be stimulated all day long, just like the other school kids.
Another option we started exploring is local parochial schools, but the best fit (otherwise) pushes creationism pretty hard, which rules it out for us completely.
Another option, which I don't want to have to do but will if pushed, is to apply for a hardship determination from the state, based on the town's failure to provide for our son, and if we get one would let us take him to any school in the state that we can drive to. There is one town in particular within 15-20 minutes that is rumored to have quite good programs. I also hope that, since I believe our school district is on a watch-list of troubled ones, the school will offer some accommodations based on the threat of applying for a hardship determination.
To me, the biggest question is 'does he enjoy his age peers more would he rather interact with older kids?'
He has always liked playing with older kids and adults more; he just isn't averse to acting silly with his age peers. The bit about him acting like an animal seems to be conceived to oppose statements we previously made to the TAT team about his preference for older peers.
Thanks so much for helping us. I've been depressed about this whole situation, and now feel like there's a lot more hope.
