I agree, Ithink forums that only allow puppies and rainbows are at best useless, at worst harmful.
Aren't we adults? I haven't seen any namecalling or bullying on here, or did I miss it? Is mere disagreement a terrible thing to run from? Or simply honesty? How would anyone ever learn anything in life if no one could ever disagree with you or tell you you're full of it and to pull your head in?
Are you sure people stopped posting here because it became terribly adversarial, or perhaps a snark board was trolling?
I agree with this too for the most part. There have been a couple of instances where I have been shocked at the very personal attacks that have been made on people's parenting choices - particularly around acceleration. I'm not talking about situations where people share an alternative view to another poster and state why and based on what experience they disagree, but situations where people are often responding not to the OP, but to someone else's response to the OP (people who were merely stating their point of view and not actually asking for advice themselves). Rightly or wrongly I have sometimes ended up participating in those discussions in as a respectful manner as I can, because I have a strong personal reaction to seeing people targeted like that, but I do find some of those kinds of responses very unsupportive.
I have however had quite negative responses on forums which have been incredibly constructive (because they were presented respectfully) so I would hate to see a situation where people were afraid to disagree with one another. I would also hate to see someone like Lucounu have to tone done their humour - I regularly chuckle out loud at some of his responses and while he is forthright on occasion I haven't ever really seen him attack anyone one a very personal level (yes, the personal attack is my personal theme here!)
I'm also wondering if we might be seeing a bit more plurality of views and that that is changing the tone of the board. When I first started looking at this board (for a year or so before I joined) there were some very common and often repeated views. There was also a group of people whose views were always sought and, I often felt, taken for granted (and to some extent that was fair enough, given their wealth of experience). However, there were certainly instances where I did not post my own opinions because they would have been contrary to those held by the opinion makers on the board and I didn't feel what I had to say would be heard. Now I see a lot more diversity of opinion as new people come to the board and with that comes change and with any change some people will inevitably find that a product (whatever it is) no longer suits their needs.
I do think the board is changing, and I do think that there are instances where people have responded very inappropriately and personally to other posters. In fact, though I have always tried to be very respectful, I do wonder whether I am one of the people that is being referred to because I do from time to time take sides when I think it is important to do so. But if I'm honest I don't think the 'tone' of the board is any more disrespectful than is was 18-24 months ago. Just different.
Anyway, my 2c.
Giftodd
