Maybe we wouldn't have to use cautious language, just up the love quotient in each message. "I disagree with your self-promotion on this board. <3"
I know you are trying to be humerous here, Lucounu, but actually this gets your original point across and it works for me on the level of 'here's what I think, I'm not here to attack anyone.'
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I agree with your observation Lucounu...but what would be so terrible if we used that same 'toned down' quality on the board?
I don't think there's any very nice way to suggest that someone is spamming, for example. That's why I think that some things are best left for PM. Disagreements about education or parenting are different from disagreements about the way we conduct ourselves on the board. So for the former I agree that a general attitude of respectfulness can work well, but maybe not for things that are bound to raise hackles no matter how you say them.
In the thread that bothers me the most, a personal appeal drifted into a question of parenting style, and the unspoken rules for a 'general freewheeling - we finally get to talk about this- what a relief- topic' were starting to be followed - in a way that was perceived by the OP as an attack on her parenting style. I think we need to be 'squeaky clean' about starting new threads when a personal appeal drifts into a 'let's spar!' kind of topic.
Maybe that needs to be the tradition - checking to be sure that a personal appeal topic stays closer to the OP's question and the any 'let's spar!' topics that come off of that start their own thread in the Discussion Forum? I think it's ok to mention 'hey! let's talk about thumbsucking' or 'hey, let's talk about teaching kids to apologize of in Discussion Forum!'
I've thought a bit about suggestions to add meta-info to thread titles. I don't think adding extra information to the title of a new thread about the intent of the thread would hurt at all, but it would be bound not to be followed perfectly. I guess if someone really doesn't want things to veer off topic she could indicate that, but is it likely? I see posters like Val already starting new threads when appropriate, so maybe just a strong suggestion to do that would be the best improvement.
I also think it's a good idea to make people read the rules when they first sign up.
Lucounu - I think you've shown tremendous grace and lack of defensiveness during these last few days. I often feel as though I've grown as a person while reading your posts - and that's about the highest compliment my mind has!
Thanks! I guess I just don't feel defensive. I obviously said what many wouldn't say, for various reasons, but in the end I think some useful changes will happen.
