KJJ, I think you have a very good point.

One thing I love about my DH is his ability and willingness to converse with people on topics that are important to the person. He actually has more patience in social settings for inane topics, then I do. I work with people from many walks of life in my work. Conversational and interview skills are just that skills that you develop. If you can't or just lack the interest, well that isn't the other persons fault. The feeling that you don't fit is another story.

One thing that drives me crazy about DH is his taking the Devil's advocate position, when what I want to know what he thinks or feels, Argh!!! Perhaps, this is what people are trying to tell you. They want a real conversation about what you think and what is important to you. Not to listen to you argue the case for something you don't believe. It comes off as disingenuous, unempathetic, condescending, and arrogant, even if it isn't meant that way. This doesn't mean that I don't appreciate a good discussion or that I am not entertained by an appropriate debate. rant off.

As an adult I find that the best indicator for fit for close acquaintances is actually processing speed (and interests, I love power tools!). I appreciate quickness. My few close friends are gifted. DH is PG, but his processing speed is slow. At work about half of my unit is gifted, but the best person to work with is bright with the ability and determination to get things done. He is tops in my book.

The biggest challenge for me is not necessarily gifted, but related to processing speeds. I sometimes hold three or four conversations/topics in my head during a conversation because the spoken word is sooooooo slooooow. I thought I had ADD. The best part though is I am highly visual spatial with killer visual processing, so I kick all of my son's friends you know what's at video games. There is a silver lining to everything:)