Do you think that putting a gifted or maybe HG+ kid in average classes and pretending she isn't gifted is reasonable in any circumstance if she performs better there?
Yes to putting her in a regular class. You don't forget that they have gifted scores, but educational placement is not just about IQ scores. A lot of other things factor in. If she performs better in the regular class and is happy there than I would not have a problem putting her there. Not every gifted child will be able to keep up with an accelerated pace due to (whatever 2E description applies). I would not want my child to feel like a failure. You can always afterschool or enrich at home in her areas of strength.
Where I am so torn is that she sees placement in non-GT classes as proof that she
is the slow one in the family. We haven't found a way to support her belief in herself as able and intelligent in either set-up. She makes too many simple errors to get As in the GT classes and she feels stupid in the regular classes b/c her sister was in GT and skipped a grade and, since nearly a quarter of the school is in GT, the kids in the regular ed are often so far in a different direction than she is that she doesn't really find any friends. She then identifies herself as slow b/c she must be in her mind since this is who the school thinks she belongs with. Unfortunately, she also winds up being rejected by the kids in GT b/c she isn't one of them.
