Dave,
Arguing in the sense I'm using the word is not a classic socratic dialogue, or some simple airing of views. I mean a disagreement, a values clash, a verbal fight.
If it helps, I taught argumentative writing, so I'm completely on-board with the notion of discussing an issue dispassionately in order to come to the best, most reasoned position one can discover. (Ask acs! She'll back me on that, I know!
)
But that's not what I meant when I spoke about humans arguing when we feel defensive. I meant
arguing! Complete with passion and anger and shaking hands and heart racing. I meant defending our views. I meant talking to be heard, not listening to understand.
BTW, I stole this point from Lisa Rivero's "Creative Homeschooling" book. She was talking about GT kids arguing when they feel insecure, but it rang true for me. When I know I'm right, I let it go with a shrug. When I fear I'm not or feel I'm being ignored or diminished, I switch to defensiveness and even anger.
Does that make my point clearer? I fear you've gone off into a semiotic argument when I was talking about *rampant emotionalism*.
(Is Dottie here?)