Originally Posted by StevenASylwester
Dude,

You use "tiger parents" as your frequent basic argument against change. So I ask: "tiger parents" compared to what? By your definition, what defines the parents that are the ideal parents?

I define a tiger parent as one who pushes their child to the point of exhaustion, psychological abuse, and an inability to function independently. It also contributes to the development of sociopathic behaviors, as the child learns to value ends over means, and that cheating is a perfectly acceptable method of accomplishing your objectives, because everyone else is doing it, too.

The opposite would be neglect, so obviously that's not ideal.

The ideal is a parent who pushes their child right up to the edge of their abilities and interests, a parent who has a realistic recognition of their child's strengths and weaknesses, sets appropriate expectations and boundaries, and who pushes while also balancing achievement goals with the vital needs children have for socialization, free play, exercise, and rest.

Originally Posted by StevenASylwester
Again back to Mozart and Beethoven. How much does the world of music owe to the ferocious tigers that were the fathers of Mozart and Beethoven? Left to their own devices and to the influences of their childhood playground peers, what would have been the outcomes for Mozart and Beethoven? Would we even know the names of Mozart and Beethoven today if their fathers had not been such beasts in the raising of their sons?

I'm not familiar enough with their personal histories to comment either way. Of course, we only know anything at all about how their fathers treated them because they achieved greatness. We never heard about any of their peers who were pushed just as hard or harder by their parents, failed, and self-destructed.

I could also bring up some of history's greats who weren't relentlessly driven by their parents, like Alexander the Great. Anecdotal evidence, though.

Originally Posted by StevenASylwester
The people I care about are the "estimated 72,000 exceptionally gifted kids between the ages of five and 18 in the United States," especially those who are attending public schools. If their parents are "tiger parents" who are desperately trying to advocate for their children in a stifling atmosphere that does not welcome their tiger-like involvement, then I say: "God bless them!"

Advocating for your child's genuine needs isn't tiger parenting; it's parenting. Advocating for more than your child can reasonably handle is tiger parenting.