Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. ...
I am really struggling here. He is a mess. I've seen how bad this can get for him through an awful gifted school experience last year.
My MIL (who is a K teacher) and I are really feeling we need him out of that classroom.
All of their "complaints" related to his disabilities and really both teachers were very nervous when they spoke.
But he IS being hurt. I have another 3 pages of written work he was given for homework... 40 math problems (add and subtract, draw "math mountains") plus ten words to write to practice for spelling (words like "a" and "the").
He is edging close to that breaking point.
And he brought home a "book" they made in class where each child said what they would learn to do in first grade. Those of you who read about the library incident will recognize what my child wrote trying to please his teacher: In first grade I will "learn to come to school with a smile".
