I like Zen Scanner's suggestion of pointing out what actually causes learned helplessness.
I think one of the most useful things that I have ever read, in helping understand the disconnect that can happen between school and home with a 2E kid, is Grinity's comment to "Never underestimate the power of a gifted parent (mother) to scaffold and support their 2E child". Sometimes this manifests as mum being unaware of just how much she does to support the child and baffled by why there are problems at school with her child who is "perfectly ok" at home. Sometimes this manifests as the child you KNOW needs help, but school just thinks you have taught them "learned helplessness" (harumph) by extending their strengths and supporting their weaknesses before they started school. Contemplating this can be very helpful in understanding what the situation looks like to the school and thus (hopefully) help you tackle things the right way to get what your child needs.
It's also probably important to get some perspective on the fact that to some degree the first years of school for a very 2E child are going to be about the other Es. This doesn't mean the giftedness should be ignored, or that it's even remotely ok to punish for the disability. But reality is that far more time will be spent really getting a handle on what the disability means, and re-mediating what can be re-mediated than anything else. And as the child becomes more skilled at "doing school" despite their issues, and using their accommodations, and school really starts to get to know them you should (hopefully) eventually start to see them working closer to their gifted level, but it's not likely to happen in K, or probably even 1 or 2.
