Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Hothousing- did you, didn't you, will you?

I'm going to preface this by reminding everyone that we have a *ridiculous* group of parents and kids. Our experiences are not the norm.

I do think that "hot-housing" is a valid term. I don't mean "bad parent." It's just not the choice I'd make, and not the way I choose to raise my child -- and we obviously all do what we think is best for our kids However, I'm starting to realize we should have worked with ds more!

No, I'm not fond of hot-housing, because it can't be good for a kid -- all that play time missed! And for what? Peers "catch up" when they learn to read, add, etc., and a preschooler never gets back that time to learn through free exploration.

However, I think one difference is that for most of our kids, the learning *is* play in their eyes. Not "play is learning," because that's obviously true. But for this kind of kid, learning is often the most fun thing you could be doing. So when we teach, we're often playing -- in a way that ND children typically don't "play." A PG 4-year-old could "play" by reading Shakespeare while the child next to her is having just as much fun and learning just as much at his own rate -- playing with blocks.

When I say "hot-housing," I mean an artificial situation -- one enforced on the child, and one in which they want no part or could care less. It's more like drilling/memorizing than teaching/learning. And this isn't for home-schoolers or after-schoolers, at least not in my mind. It is, I suppose, the difference in what the parent wants to get out of it. Is the only goal that the child get into the GT program with the 95th percentile cut-off? Or is that a partial goal, and the real benefit of following a child's interests and expanding on them? *That*, I think, is key.

I can't explain it. But I know it when I see it. Can each of you think of a parent who you'd consider a "hot-houser? I know I have -- and then I've known parents who guide and help and teach rather than pull.

And I don't think you can hot-house a high IQ score. Achievement, maybe. But not IQ.