What constitutes "tail of the distribution" is a moving target. It depends largely upon local norms and one's support system IRL, in my experience.
Oddly, I haven't found the other-ness to be exceptionally wearying. Perhaps it's because I've always been a member of one minority or another (the type varying by the setting), and I grew up in a community enriched for this particular kind of other-ness. Maybe I'm used to it; the comments from other parents, need for relentless (but sweet!) advocacy (until we switched to homeschooling), balancing act wrt how much one says about one's children, etc. are all just par for the course.
Granted, I don't believe my kids are PG, which certainly figures into our experience. That the oldest is charmingly respectful yet confident with adults probably helps to take the edge off of the freakishness factor.
And I do have a good built-in support system, with sibs, which I agree makes a huge difference. Our children kind of function as their own norm group, too, when it comes to expectations.
