I use to care about this a lot. I think it comes from feeling like your kid isn't getting the help he/she needs to flourish.
However, I've realized that there are kids who are in the top 10% and are struggling in their schools because they aren't getting what they need either. So, they feel the frustration too. I know a lot of 125ish IQ kids who are bored in class and their parents are frustrated.
When I hear, "oh my kid or grandkid is so smart" I think, they probably are. I consider PG or HG just to be an entirely different ballgame that isn't even comprehensible except by a few.
Exactly.
I find that even though our daughter is very far outside even that norm, we as parents have considerable common ground with many parents.
Yes, there are some unique things about raising a child who is
very far from the norm even among gifted/identified 'gt' kids. I save most of that stuff for here-- or, when I get the opportunity, for when I run into another parent who has (clearly-- and truly, it IS pretty obvious when you meet those parents) a HG/HG+ child. They aren't the parents bragging on their kids. They are the ones trying NOT to, and saying little, maybe looking a bit uncomfy about discussions of milestones, etc.
They light up when they realize that you're a kindred spirit-- they don't look sulky, but PLEASED to have found you. I started realizing that my DD was "more than just MG" when I learned that even most of them can't identify with some of the things that we live with. The maladaptive coping that kids learn at high LOG is really fearsome-- and unusual. Parents definitely need support for those things, and that is a lot of what happens in a place like this.
One thing that I've learned about IRL versus on-line support groups is that the on-line variety in a message board format tends to draw those who really do NOT have good luck finding true peers for support in IRL support groups. In other words-- those who are isolated for some reason and have NO real support group, or those who are at the very ends of the distribution. Our experiences are often extraordinary even among the larger cohort. IRL support groups tend to match the center of the distribution quite a bit better-- but that may make them less of a good fit for the needs of those at the tails of the distribution.
