DS found this book very interesting and useful (when he was in 6th grade, I think).
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/be-different-john-elder-robison/1101558806?ean=9780307884824So much of our help has come from allies within school-- the few people who are willing to teach instead of scold, again and again, until the job is done. Are there teachers or guidance counselor or someone who DOES get it? Can you enlist their help? DS has two adults within our school whom he trusts deeply, and whom he goes to for problem-solving help during the school day as needed. Because they are colleagues to the other teachers, they can "translate" and help DS navigate the particular situations arise.
I probably couldn't explain all the weirdness that has made this situation extra difficult to navigate, but I'll give another example (there seem to be way too many). The counselor for the 6-8 students is the MOTHER of one of the core subject teachers; in fact the one I eventually reported to the coordinator for not following the 504 piece about parent communication (I didn't want to--tried to complain generally, but the coordinator insisted on knowing who).
I believe she is probably a really good counselor, and under different circumstances would have been a great help (and may still be, next year).
When I spoke with her a couple of weeks ago, though, she acted like a complete nutcase and was abusive toward me on the phone--contradicting herself, telling me my thinking is distorted if I've felt anything but concern from the teachers (when the teachers were not honest in the 504 meeting--on points of fact, such as whether or not they have common planning time, for instance...and not correcting the coordinator's statement they had all been signing my son's assignment planner, when they had not). I chose not to address those points because it would have felt petty to me and I really just wanted a good plan going forward. When I explained that--she told me that *I* was the one being dishonest, because I wasn't willing to make myself vulnerable in that meeting (huh--what could be more vulnerable?)
She told me I am "consumed" with this, when all I've done this year is come to meetings arranged by others, and write a weekly email, as per 504. In the next breath, she said I need to be an advocate for my son.
She told me I need to get counseling.
The conversation with the counselor was so upsetting, and caused such an enormous amount of cognitive dissonance, that I immediately typed out the conversation and called my therapist (yeah--I have one). My therapist confirmed the conversation was completely inappropriate, bullying.
I guess my point is: I don't think the counselor is going to be my son's biggest supporter. Ha! Except it really isn't funny. I hope I'm wrong.
This program is kind of a thing unto itself, a little bubble in a large high school. The coordinator is only on site PT, the counselor even less. So I don't think there's much reason to hope for a lot of support. My son probably wouldn't seek support anyhow, though, except through his friendships. And the band teacher likes him a lot, so there's that.
