Originally Posted by eco21268
Thank you so much. I am really having a difficult day...week...month...year. I really hoped this program would help him have a better educational experience. It is 40 students from around our city, selected from all the identified gifted kids.

He just told me I am going to be "getting a phone call" bc in science, they were cutting cardboard with Exacto knives and he "jokingly" held his up in a menacing gesture toward a classmate. I haven't received a call but what in the world do I say to that? A) I can't imagine a teacher allowing a bunch of unsupervised 12-year-olds to use Exacto knives but B) particularly my son who is impulsive and has identified behavioral issues (not like this, though, just usually talking too much, blurting out, and not turning in work). He said the administrator told him that "depending on how the phone call went," there may or may not be more disciplinary consequences. I don't even know what that means.

His program is a "choice program" and one of my friends who is a Special Ed processor told me that the process is different in this type of situation. IOW, he is not *entitled* to be in this program, so the regular rules don't apply.

There really isn't a great placement for him. I've considered putting him in our assigned school but his academic skills are advanced. It's the behaviors that are the issue. It's like he is an 8-year-old socially/emotionally but he talks like a (smart) 18-year-old and in adult company, he seems perfectly well-adjusted, if precocious.

Put him in a room with his age-mates (who are all highly gifted--so I don't doubt he really stands out) and he fails to assimilate. I can't believe how sad all of this makes me, and confused, and angry. All at once.

As I said in my above post. Hugs. I have been there and I know how frustrating and discouraging it is. My son's 6th grade teacher (who had only taught gifted kids his whole career) told me to my face that my DS was the most disruptive kid he had ever encountered. Mostly DS was melting down and having anxiety attacks, not hurting other people or things. Same teacher told me at the end of year that my son really did belong in the class. Sigh frown And don't get me started on the 8th grade science teacher who decided and threw a fit that one of DS's doodles was a satirical picture of her. He was so confused.

What grades are the program he is in? I'm curious because the program my DS was in was 4-6th and his problems happened mid-year so things were going to change the following year anyway. Then when he got to 7th grade they didn't enroll him in the 'gifted' humanities class. That only took one meeting to resolve as in my district once tested as GATE the school is required keep them in the 'gifted' classes through 8th grade. (H.S. is another whole issue I won't get into here.) I recommend you look at what the district policy is on gifted education.

You aren't alone in realizing there isn't really a good place for you son. I've been so frustrated for years trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. My son's H.S. English class is case in point. DS can't be in the honor/AP English classes my H.S. offers, he just can't for a number of reasons I won't go into here. But the 'regular' class bores him to tears. He reads circles around the other students and gets so frustrated with class discussions that are so superficial after years in honors programs.