Just had a school party where the teacher had called around to make sure she got food that was appropriate for all of the kids. Turns out the people who answered the questions on the phone were wrong.
I hope no one was hurt.
I'm not sure I understand who the teacher was calling? Was she calling parents or food manufacturers or food suppliers? Students with food allergies should have a list of safe foods on file at school. I would trust parents to know what is safe for their child. The gotchas come with things like calling a food supplier (for instance, our school district can't guarantee ingredients in some of the products they use because the supplier they buy from changes ingredients without informing them). Things like that. Or perhaps she was talking to people who weren't invested in giving a correct answer or who don't understand food allergies - and the reality is, those people are out there, so those of us dealing with food allergies have to do our best to make sure we're verifying food safety ourselves as much as possible or that a reliable person is making the determination. Which is why I'm wondering what "calling around" meant?
I wonder if schools have a list of procedures for teachers to follow. If they don't of course, they should!
Our schools have procedures re what foods can be offered, what foods are restricted based on allergies in the classrooms, and what foods are restricted based on health initiatives for all students (our schools have limits on sugar content etc for classroom treats and parties). I haven't seen an official procedure for how to verify a food *doesn't* contain an allergen. Maybe I'm the outlier here, but that's somewhat ok for me as a parent of a severely IgE-allergic child with multiple food allergies. My dd knows how to read labels, and how to assess whether or not the label is trustworthy (i.e. is she reading the label on a packaged item that's never been opened or is she reading a label that a parent wrote on a home-made food item, and is that a parent she knows would include everything or someone she doesn't know well so she might not know how allergy-aware they are). Younger students aren't going to be able to make those assessments, but there parents are able to. JMO, but I wouldn't want the decisions about what is safe or not left up to my children's teachers, especially in early elementary. Too much responsibility for the teacher, and to be honest, and although not many, some teachers just don't care and/or don't believe food allergies are real.
I think one thing that has caused the largest challenge for me (as the parent is a societal thing - people *want* to be able to give children food as treats, as reward, as whatever, and they want it to be inclusive. It's so easy for me as a parent to just send in food for my dd and not have to even be in the situation with a class party where food is being given out and a teacher needs to make sure it's "safe for all". Well-meaning people want to be inclusive and that's wonderful, but otoh my dd is very used to bringing her own food and she's downright ok with it.
(sorry I started to ramble there!)
How difficult is it to tell your child that even if your teacher assures you that the food is verified safe, it still might not be safe.
Well - it may feel difficult when you're starting out and your child is young, but it's also a process that I suspect most kids with food allergies or health challenges go through - eventually our kids will figure it out for themselves that a teacher's decision can't always be trusted - whether it's due to the best of intent but lack of information or whether it's due to lack of caring on the part of the teacher (or whoever). My dd started noticing those nuances from the time she was in kindergarten and she doesn't implicitly trust any one person or any one situation (except for parents and very close adult friends she knows well). And that's been good for her in terms of survival tactics - she knows she could die and she's taking care of herself. I think it may feel sad or tough for people like myself as a parent who haven't lived with that reality, but it's simply a part of her life to her. Hope that makes sense.
Even if the teacher feels like she went through a lot of work for YOU and you feel like you should eat it, you go ahead and hurt the teacher's feelings and decline.
Yes, you decline. You always decline unless you are 100% certain it's safe. You can decline politely, nicely, graciously - and you can teach your child to do so. But that's part of what you do when you're living with a food allergy.
Apparently we need to train teachers to NOT call, but to look for the info on ingredients in writing on websites.
I wouldn't even say that's good enough - I would only trust what I saw on a label on the food's package from the manufacturer. Websites can be out of date, and ingredients do change. Just ask my dd about that
Best wishes,
polarbear
