Interestingly, something that I've noted about my DD and I that most people seem to lack-- is an ability to separate my rational side from the emotional one when it comes to individual people in my life. I may LOVE a friend dearly, but know that I shouldn't rely upon him for money, for example. I might be able to dislike someone intensely on a personal level and still be completely professionally cordial and productive with that person. The reason that I think it is connected is that I, too, had to learn very young (and process very young, thanks to a high cognitive ability) that people who LOVE us may not always be GOOD to us or for us, and may in fact be quite dangerous, even if we love them in return... and that the two things have nothing to do with one another. I have speculated that growing up in emotionally challenging circumstances may lead to this kind of phenomenon. It's a certain pathos-driven acceptance of others-- but it's tempered by pragmatism.
This is a favorite theme of mine...along with the idea that there are people with whom you can have a genuine relationship (not artificial, nor would I call it shallow), but within certain limits. And that's okay. Intense people may naturally want the same level of intensity to be reciprocated in their relationships, but not everyone is there, and one can learn to accept and appreciate each relationship for whatever the other person is able to invest into it, eyes open, and with realistic boundaries for self-protection.
I guess it's the understanding that everyone has flaws, but that that should not prevent us from loving them (or them from loving us). I prefer to think of it as compassion and mercy--which is often learned through tragedy, but can be learned through grace as well.
