Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Food allergy case

It was very apparent to my gifted 5 year old that his teacher didn't care if he learned anything, or if he was included.

This is the bit of things where there is probably a UNIQUE issue that exists primarily for HG/HG+ children-- they realize this when they are FAR too young to emotionally process how someone who seems "nice" or "loves me" could also pose a grave risk to them in a moment of thoughtlessness, or actually TRY to "prove" something by deliberately exposing them.

Mostly, it's just self-centered behavior that is incredibly hurtful-- leaving the child thinking "Wow.... and YOU are the "grown up" one here??"

It is terrifying for a child like that to be left in the care of an adult that they KNOW is a danger to them, or deep down doesn't believe/care. NT children with food allergies tend to be happily oblivious to this until they are better able to process that set of salient facts, but HG+ ones know-- they know WAY before they should. My personal estimate, based on my DD, is that most of them figure some of that out by the time they are four or five. Younger in some cases.

It turns them into empaths or human satellite dishes, honestly-- they learn to read people like they are space aliens with special powers. They can TELL when someone is just blowing them off. They also learn to tell when someone CANNOT get it, versus just "will not" or "maybe could." Interestingly, DD doesn't seem to resent that some people she knows and loves dearly are in the "just can't go there" group with her allergies. She just accepts that she has to be on high-alert around them, because they are simply oblivious to things like touching her food (rendering it unsafe for her), etc. She simply doesn't hold it against them.


Interestingly, something that I've noted about my DD and I that most people seem to lack-- is an ability to separate my rational side from the emotional one when it comes to individual people in my life. I may LOVE a friend dearly, but know that I shouldn't rely upon him for money, for example. I might be able to dislike someone intensely on a personal level and still be completely professionally cordial and productive with that person. The reason that I think it is connected is that I, too, had to learn very young (and process very young, thanks to a high cognitive ability) that people who LOVE us may not always be GOOD to us or for us, and may in fact be quite dangerous, even if we love them in return... and that the two things have nothing to do with one another. I have speculated that growing up in emotionally challenging circumstances may lead to this kind of phenomenon. It's a certain pathos-driven acceptance of others-- but it's tempered by pragmatism.