Hi,
I've been watching this post with interest, since it seems to describe my relationship with my DS4 to a T. My DS4 was a terribly high needs baby who thoroughly crushed any vague notions we might have had about having more than one child, and I am a mother who does not especially like babies. I spent the first couple of years wishing I could fast forward to the part where we'd be able to have conversations, tell each other jokes and draw pictures together, and he'd occasionally go off on his own to read or play by himself for a while. We're finally getting there, and I am enjoying my son more than ever, but I have to say, he's only slightly less demanding at age 4 than he was as a baby. Instead of crying for me to hold him, my son now follows me around the house (so close I literally trip on him sometimes) whining "Mama, when are you going to PLAY with me" if I dare do anything as selfish as try to clean or make dinner. To make matters worse, as he gets older, the lack of siblings is becoming more of a problem. Even with nearly constant interaction at home (my husband and I basically take turns playing with him when we're not working), preschool 4 times a week, gym night and playdates in between, he tells us he's "lonely and bored." I get no exercise, have no real friends outside of email, and still (after 4 long years!) feel like I'm waiting for that day when I'll have more freedom (maybe once he reads chapter books??!). I still can't even figure out how people find time to post on this site as often as they do--DS4 is "waiting" for me right now.
Anyway, I'm realizing, my HG son is never going to "give" me more time or "let" me have more time, and that if I want time for myself, I'm going to have to "take" it. My mother always felt like she gave far more than she received while my siblings and I were growing up, and she was very bitter and resentful as a result, which wasn't good for anyone. I don't want to be like that.
He calls . . .
I'm sorry that you can relate to me!
I know that a demanding child is exhausting! I really do appreciate you sharing though. I remember when dd was a newborn she would only sleep 8 or 9 out of 24 hours,. The doctor told me she should be sleeping something like 18-22 hours. He said it was fine because she was growing etc and that she just didnt need as much sleep. i remember the only way to get her to sleep for a long time was to literally bounce her on our knees until she fell asleep. I also remember the days of not being able to put her in the car seat...she would arch her back and scream so I couldnt do up the straps. That was so frustrating! I also spent the first year sitting in the back seat with her so that I could entertain her. If I was alone in the car with her she would cry (or if I dared to try sitting in the front when dh was driving). We are at the tripping over dd stage too and we also trade off playing with her...it's like a tag team on weekends when dh isn't working. Anyhow...it is just really nice to hear you talk about what you went through and are going through. I don't even think my parents believed me when I would complaing about how high needs she was as a baby. She is obviously so much better (toss her a cracker and she is ok in the car for a few minutes...but then the questions start: "hey Mama, what is that wire for? Where is that truck going? Why is it foggy?" lol fun fun.
Just wantd to let you know how much I appreciate your post.
