Hubby tested at 186 in school, I did a test with a ceiling of 145, which I hit. Neither of us did anything remotely academic with our lives. We're very happy and well adjusted. We value goodness and humour in our friends. We enjoy food. We travel. We watch too much Netflix. I had my existential crisis in my early 20s. I hope that's all you're going through. Here's the conclusion I came too, in case it helps: there is no meaning to life, and people mostly suck, but I'm here, and I'd rather be alive than dead, and while I'm alive I can surround myself with things that I enjoy, and people who don't suck. Hope life gets cheerier for you smile