Different minds is very theoretical....If your want a book that just teaches what to do now, try 'Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook'....strangly the Workbook has all the theory that the original book had but more concise. So you only need the Workbook. It is by Lisa Bravo.
I will try this one ... In fact we bought some books on the education of difficult children. They are mainly read by DW. But every "recipes" we tried had been working (tense??) for some days and collapsed ... We tried pictograms, time timer, barkley solution with tokens and rewards. I do not know if the collapsing of these tries is because we are not good enought at that or because DS simply does not want to play the game any longer.
Stop comments to 'Use Fork' at the table since they are providing a positive reward for a negative behavior. Then look for ways to make comments that notice any good table manners, such as
You wiped your hand on a napkin...what shows good table manners.
You looked at your fork, I wonder if you were thinking about using it to eat your potatoes.
I see you are using a spoon to eat your soup, good job of using utensiles.
Of course if you are silently fuming about the bad behaviors while mechanically saying the words it won't work. The workbook really helps with that. My idea is to start the experiment by keeping tracks of how many positive thought you have about your child during today on a little piece of paper and see if tomorrow you can beat your score.
Well I am not fuming anymore. Let's say I am just resigned ... I just simply tell him to take his fork being neutral. Anyway, I will try as you proposed ...
I find the hand eating worrysome because it wasn't always like that.
Can you be more precise about what you think, please ? For me, this behavior is one great enigma. I have an explanation of my own. But I rather ear yours before (if any), just not to influence.
Your son can not possible fake getting 19 on his IQ test even though it is quite true that some children clam up with strangers. Especially children who have learned that adults might react negatively to their vocabulary level.
The reason why I do not give full credit on this result is more in relation with the psychologist than to a possible faking of my son. Well from preceding posts, you may understand that psychologists (at least the French ones) are not my friends. Anyway, I can not see why she would have "cheat". Moreover, after her explanation of the results she told us that even if DS may have some psy-problems, she thought that with such discrepancies in the scores, we should better see other specialists to deal with compensating his problems. The fact is that she was impressed by our son during his sessions with her. As an example, she reported us that during one session, DS took a kind of maze-game in her office and succeeded sponteanously on the first try without any explanations on what to do. This game was a support to test kids up to 16-years old. She said that it took her 2 or 3 tries to succeed knowing what to do. It is very hard to believe when you are facing a child with such great difficulties at school and at home. She also told us that during the tests DS was walking around in her office taking small objects, looking around, not truly focusing while answering her questions. This is so hard to believe ... I have no doubt that my DS is intelligent but he is as intelligent as the others and I do not see any differences in the real life (from the intelligence point of view). It was only with this woman that he accomplished such great things.
Is your son any good at reading body language in adults?
Well, he is just amazing at that .. Actually, much better than reading in books
. Of course, it is more a feeling than anything very tangible. One problem is that I think that he can literally play with that capabality. I think that is why the first two speech therapists did not succeed with him... he did.
If you want to print this out to share with your partner I would be honored to be a guest in your family.
You are wellcome ... I do not print your answers, but actually I shared them with her.
